Increasing Capacity
Have you ever been around someone, who, when presented with a difficult situation, handles it with grace and peace even if attacked. I’ll never forget an incident from my engineering days that played out in a way I never expected.
I was requested to attend a meeting where results from a large scale test were going to be presented. I found my way into the poorly lit room and I was a little surprised to find over 50 other engineers and managers there, happy to find an available seat. An upper level manager walked into the room, looked over the crowd and let out a string of verbiage I wasn’t accustomed to hearing. “Why the ___ are there so many ___? Don’t you ___ have something ___ better to do? Do you know how much ___ money this is costing the company? ” etc. One of the men got up and exited the room, stated he didn’t want to be there anyway. My supervisor Jim then addressed the irate manager. Although two levels of management beneath him, Jim calmly called him by name, asked him to just sit down, and informed him that everyone was there because they were interested in the results and it affected all their jobs. To my great surprise the manager just sat down. He wasn’t upset and the meeting went on without any more outbursts.
I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Where did my supervisor get the capacity to tell the manager what was needed and not be threatened? I sure did not feel safe to say anything. Later I asked Jim how he had the courage to address the situation. He basically said: “That’s just the way the manager is and he’s really a good man inside, but blows up periodically. Don’t place any weight on it.”
Honestly, I was impressed, and in my heart wanted to be able to handle difficult situations in just as calm a manner. In time, I realized my supervisor Jim didn’t keep track of offenses and kept looking for the best in people. Yes, he got frustrated at times but that typically was over injustices and abuse of position and power. His ability to work through trials and difficult situations continued to impress me as he handled life with a decisive and yet gentle hand. It seemed he had a huge capacity to deal with the hard things in life and still stay calm and collected.
So what gives someone like Jim the capacity to deal with life’s struggles without losing their true identity, to keep their cool? It comes down to a few very important items. First, don’t carry extra baggage. Work through past issues and let go of offenses and hurts that others have caused you. In short forgive from the heart. If you don’t, you’ll always be battling against those things and unable to deal with new situations on their own merit. Second, be humble and choose to believe the best in others. You will be correct 90 percent of the time! This is really a choice, not a feeling, because our feelings can deceive us. Recognize people will fail you at times and when you offer grace it is much easier for them to get back on their feet and do it right the next round. And third, treat others the way you would want them to treat you. This takes gentleness which is real strength under control. (Prov. 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.) When I look at how God has treated me, with grace, patience and gentleness, even in troubled times when I’m hurting, it gives me a deeper understanding of how to properly deal with difficult situations, and yes, even “difficult” people.
The more I allow God to refine me, take me through trials, and maintain a grateful heart in spite of the struggles (knowing He is in control and somehow, someway will use it for His good) the more capacity I have to handle life’s challenges. God’s ways are definitely not our ways. He expects us to die to our bitterness, selfishness, greed, lusts and our expectations. That is when we really start to live!